Dare to stand out and be different.

Dare to be different

This blog is all about changing your perspective, positive vibes, self-love, self-empowerment and more importantly, giving you the motivation you need to challenge yourself in every aspect of your life in order to become a better version of yourself each day, Because life is too short to be lazy and miserable.

Today’s society has managed to create a perfect portrayal of what is “Socially acceptable” and if anyone so much as strays from it or expresses an opinion that is contrary to “popular belief”, all hell breaks loose.

In this day and age, originality is rare. And when someone chooses to be different, to take a stand, and decide that they no longer want to be just another face in the crowd, that path can be very lonely.

I know this because I used to be scared of expressing my thoughts and opinions. For a few years I was bullied in school. People made fun of my looks, my personality, my clothes, even my name (My real full name), so much so that when I transferred to a new school, I felt the need to change my entire persona.. I even went as far as to change the way my name was pronounced in order to avoid further ridicule. For a long time I hated myself, and did everything in my power to blend in with everyone else. Even the destructive relationships I found myself in lasted as long as they did because I was under the impression that it was somehow NORMAL for me to be with someone who made me feel bad about myself. I was convinced that I was the problem, and that I wasn’t worthy enough to be with someone who treated me with love and respect.

I was extremely shy.. only spoke when spoken to. And I felt like I couldn’t express my feelings and thoughts, for fear of being ridiculed by my peers. And I allowed myself to be mistreated by the few people I’ve befriended and dated.

Believe me when I say it took me a LONG time to come to terms with the fact that I didn’t need others to validate my worth or to accept me. What mattered is that I loved and accepted myself. “Who cares if you don’t like me…? I LIKE ME.” That’s the attitude I should’ve had, and that’s the attitude YOU should work on having!

Recognizing your self-worth is one of the many keys of true happiness.

I think the worst part of being bullied and ridiculed… especially when you already have low self-esteem is that eventually you begin to believe the hurtful things people say, and you actually manage to convince yourself that something might be wrong with you. It’s disturbing, and it’s extremely wrong!

self- esteem

If you think highly of yourself, and recognize your self-worth, NO ONE can break you or have the power to bring you down and make you feel unworthy!

Everyone is unique and it’s about time some people started acting like it. You should never feel threatened by originality, but rather embrace it. If you’re different.. there’s nothing wrong with that! Why would you want to be like anyone other than yourself ? Where’s the excitement in being like everyone else? Some of the most successful and interesting people I’ve met are where they are now because they’ve decided to take a stand. They took a different route and tried something new, as opposed to blindly following the crowd just to make themselves appear relevant.

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A unique mind is a beautiful thing.

Looking back, I wish I had the knowledge that I have today. I think I would have accomplished so much more with my life if I was more focused on building my self- esteem and following my passion instead of worrying about what everyone else thought of me and seeking their validation.

When you take a look at yourself in the mirror… see yourself as an individual. You’re allowed to have opinions, you have every damn right to think differently, to look different, to BE DIFFERENT and to stand out! People may judge you for it, but in the long run, they’ll respect you more for it.

You can stray from the pack at any time and follow your own path. Just because you see everyone else doing something, doesn’t mean you have to do it too. What matters is how you perceive yourself. You are yours before you are anyone else’s. And since you are the only one who’s obligated to live under your own skin, there’s nothing left for you to do but embrace it.

Beauty is skin deep… Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

You’re only as strong as you think you are, so if you’re depending on others to make you feel valid, important or beautiful, then clearly you need to change you mentality.

Albert Einstein

 

Originality is beautiful.

-Stasiaa

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Don’t be a Coward this year!

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If the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result, then I guess I used to be a madwoman, because despite of all my efforts, I always found myself in the same position over and over again.

My relationships were constantly failing because I had a tendency to fall for the same type of male (basically Deadbeats) over and over again without realizing it until it was too late. (I’d blame that on my daddy issues, but that’s another story for another time).  The point is, I was always left in the exact same position; heartbroken, miserable, broke, and extremely unhappy to an extent that I can’t even put into words.

Luckily I internalize all my feelings, so unless I spoke about it, no one really knew about it.

Another example of this is how I would constantly go out of my way for others, (both “family” and “friends”), putting their happiness above mine, practically sacrificing my own sanity for their stability… thinking that somehow in return I would receive the same treatment, only to get screwed over and humiliated by them on a regular basis.

I’d also surround myself with people who had no goals, no ambition, and did nothing but procrastinate and complain about their lives… blaming everyone but themselves for being in the position they were in. This obviously had a negative effect on me and the way I viewed the world.

I can tell you this much… no one can hurt you more than the people who are closest to you. At a point I felt like the only solution was to isolate myself from others, and for a while, It felt incredibly good. But obviously that’s no way to live. (At least that’s what I’ve been trying to convince myself of. I’m still working on it).

Eventually, I had to take a different approach.

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Life is beautiful, but It’s a constant struggle.. especially If you feel like you’re not where you should be. What I find most unfortunate is that some opportunities come easily to some people. Some just have better luck than others. Most of the time it’s not about what you know…. it’s WHO you know. Some people work so hard and they don’t get as far as some who hardly put in as much effort.

It’s a shame.. it can be discouraging, but It’s reality. “Sh*t happens” as most people say nowadays. And the sooner you begin to accept that, the easier it will be for you to move forward despite of it.

I believe the easiest, (And sometimes the most difficult) thing to do in life is give up. I feel like we live in a society where people are constantly comparing themselves to others.. what they have, what they look like, their financial situation, their relationships & popularity. But how are you supposed to move forward and achieve your goals if you’re constantly watching what the person next to you is doing?

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Don’t allow your mistakes & failures keep you prisoner.

Why dwell on your mistakes? All it does is hold you back! I understand how easy it is to focus on the negative, because at the end of the day, you are your own worst critic. You can be the most ambitious person in the world, but if you’re not focused on yourself and your life, your goals and your achievements, you won’t get very far. Don’t ever put yourself down dammit, build yourself up! wake up each morning with a positive outlook, and focus on becoming a better version of yourself.

On the flip-side, recognizing your failures isn’t always a bad thing. Your failures are what make you wiser. It serves as a reminder for you to avoid repeating the mistakes that you’ve already made. However that shouldn’t be the only thing you should be focusing on. Look at how far you’ve come. It’s important for you to recognize both your failures and your achievements. Positive and negative go hand in hand. You can’t have one without the other.

be the type of person you want to meet

Now if you want something, go for it!  Don’t ever let anyone convince you that your goals are unattainable or make you feel like you don’t deserve what you want. Change your mindset, set your priorities straight, stay far away from negative people. Do what you need to do in order to get where you need to be.

Instead of using your failures as an excuse to give up, how about you use them as motivation to work even harder? Try using a different approach, alter your perspective, try a new method, ask questions, challenge yourself, set goals, work with whatever resources you do have. A lot of Iconic people today have gone through their share of disappointments and failures (Oprah Winfrey, Michael Jordan, Steve Jobs, Celine Dion.. just to name a few), who are now successful legendary individuals.

Don’t get me wrong, sometimes It’s just about being in the right place at the right time. Or knowing the right people.. And we don’t always have that opportunity. But you should simply view this as a minor setback. Don’t procrastinate, don’t make excuses, don’t “Try”, just do!

One of the things I’ve learned is that nothing is as bad as you think it is. As human beings, our feelings towards ourselves and our own problems are always magnified. Always keep that in mind.

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I’ve also learned to change my perspective. Yes, it’s been a rough few years for me… particularly 2015. But I realized that these bad experiences are not punishments. They’re lessons… life experiences! And in the end they’ve made me wiser, stronger, And I’ve learned that I am unbreakable. And I refuse to repeat the mistakes I’ve already made or allow myself to be pushed around by anyone ever again. I choose My friends wisely, I try to motivate myself every day, I try to think about all the things I have going for me instead of worrying about all the things I don’t have.

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One more thing…

Instead of having one of those annoying New year’s resolutions that hardly anyone ever manages to achieve, how about you set a goal for your yourself in the beginning of each month (No matter how big or small). Whether it may be to find yourself a better paying job, to pursue a passion, to take a risk, conquering a fear, or something as simple as finding a hobby, or putting a certain amount of money aside for something special.

Progress is progress no matter where it gets you, No matter how you get there.

This is my advice to you. Now do yourself a favor and take it.

Don’t be a coward. I think the world has enough of those, don’t you?

Have yourself an amazing year!

-Stasiaa

 

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Are you a social media addict??

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Everything seems to revolve around social media these days. It’s so easy to get caught up in that world, you’re probably not even aware of how often you check your phone out of pure reflex. Do you remember life without social media? What were you doing before Facebook & MySpace came along? Were you completely lost? Why are we so dependent on it now?

To help answer these questions, I came up with a checklist (based off of my personal experience), to help you determine whether or not you’re addicted to social media.

If you can relate to any of these points, you might have a problem.

  • You lose sleep because you spend most of the night refreshing your timeline.
  • You check your social media account the minute you’re in a WIFI zone.
  • You’re unable to participate in social events without feeling the need to record every minute of it for your social media page. So much so, you’re unable to focus on the actual event.
  • Every month you find yourself paying Data overuse charges for your phone.
  • You find yourself judging someone’s character (friends, strangers, acquaintances) based off what you see on their page.
  • You’re constantly checking your phone out of pure habit…  even though you know you haven’t received any messages or notifications.
  • You check your phone while you eat.
  • You’re unable to ignore a notification sound while you’re having a face to face conversation with someone.
  • You “Background check” every single person you spend time with on their social media page.. (Most people would call that “Stalking someone’s page”), which ultimately alters your perception of them.
  • Your phone battery tends to die (Or is close to dying) before the day is half gone.
  • You check your social media accounts first thing in the morning.
  • You feel like you’re beauty/looks must be validated by the amount of “Likes” you receive on a photo/video

This list could go on & on, but If you find yourself doing 5 or more of these things on a daily basis. You are most definitely addicted to social media.

Here’s some food for thought; if you had to go an entire week without your phone, or any electronic device for that matter … are you more likely to panic & breakdown? Would you feel helpless & lost? Or would you be relieved? Think about that, and let me know! You’re answer might help you learn more about yourself.

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Now I’m not implying that there’s anything wrong with social media. Some people use it for business, marketing, promotions… and some use it to stay connected to their family & friends. That’s all well and good, I’m not condemning that at all. I’m directing this article towards people who use their social media solely for entertainment purposes, It’s extremely easy to to get carried away.

At the end of the day, it’s not about what you use or why you use it. It’s HOW you use it! It’s about the hold you allow it to have on you and the level of importance it has in your life.

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Take a step back and realize that there’s a world outside of your phone. You may enjoy life a little bit better. Maybe even form healthier relationships, and enjoy every moment to the fullest. Keep that in mind this week!

 

-Stasiaa

 

 

 

 

 

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spirituality

In order to grow as a person and live a positive life, it’s important to take a good look at yourself and the people you choose to surround yourself with. Ask yourself if those people are affecting you in a positive way or in a negative way. Do they stick by you through thick and thin? Are they supportive? Do they push you to do better….? To BE better??? Or are they just along for the ride until things get rough?

See there’s a big difference between Acquaintances and friends. Some people are unable to tell the difference. And sometimes the negative vibes you supposedly feel within yourself is actually rooted from someone you associate with on a regular basis. Friendship really is a beautiful thing, but you have to keep in mind that not everyone you consider to be your friend has your best interests at heart.

when you have to start

Those who are unable to appreciate your inner beauty, or who are unable to treat you the way you KNOW you deserve to be treated, should have no place in your life.

HOWEVER “Cutting people off” shouldn’t be a trend. Every time I login into a social media account and scroll through my timeline, I always see at least a dozen or so people saying things like “I hate people” “I keep my circle small” “All I do is cut people off” … etc.

Now that’s all good and well IF they’re doing it for the right reasons. But half of these people don’t even mean what they say, and the other half do it because they don’t know how to handle their problems and face things head on. Personally, I think this should be a last resort, not an escape plan. Don’t do it because everyone CLAIMS to be doing it. It has to be for yourself, your sanity and your own well being.

Now if you do decide to “Cut someone out of your life” It has to be for the right reasons. Either because they are deliberately trying to sabotage you, or they betrayed you, took advantage of your kindness… or simply because they bring nothing but negative vibes into your life. Basically anything that makes you feel like you’ve had enough.                                                                                      

Sometimes those who are closest to you are the ones who are praying for your downfall and preventing you from succeeding. Yes, they may be rooting for you… and yes, they may genuinely do want you to do well… but not as well as them.

I’m not trying to make you paranoid here. I’m just saying, don’t be Naive!

Also, Take a look at yourself… are you making good use of your time? Are you unable to breakaway from bad habits? Are you subconsciously sabotaging yourself?

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Flush away all the negativity, no matter how hard it is, and regardless of the form it chooses to manifest itself in.

Get your life in order if you haven’t already. Time waits on no one, so don’t waste a single moment on anyone who doesn’t genuinely care for you and your well being. Take this year to work on yourself and every other aspect of your life… focus on being a better person. For YOU.

Any damn thing in this life can be accomplished, if you’re willing to work hard for it. Be your own cheerleader. PUSH YOURSELF.

And always keep in mind, you won’t be able to move forward If you’re spending all your time looking back.

a negative

-Stasiaa

 

 

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Success in the making

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The beautiful, multi-talented artist who is simply known as Farah is a gifted songwriter, singer and model. Her lyrics are both powerful & Inspiring… but more importantly truthful. The music as a whole has a uniqueness that is both appealing and mesmerizing in it’s own. Her previous singles “I don’t wanna (leave)” and “5.3.1” shows off her vocal talent and Originality.

Her recently released single  “Stay in” has a nice R&B vibe, and the melody has a nice calming tone so that the lyrics stand out on their own.

Her natural ambition and drive has led her to start her own YouTube channel in order to share her journey with her numerous supporters as she moves towards the next chapter of her life.

She is truly the definition of persistence and dedication. She has an ability turn her real life experiences (both positive and negative) into her own art form.

It truly is an amazing thing to be able to channel your thoughts, emotions and passion into something as beautiful as music. And Farah has managed to accomplish this on many occasions.

Check out her YouTube Channel and be on the lookout for more of her music!

(Instagram/Twitter: @FarahNeoteric)

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCm_kMcQ0hC6dUs67aEMW2CA

 

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Love begins with you.

 

enjoy your own company2

Life is a contradiction.. both a burden and a blessing. Beautiful yet difficult. It’s a struggle. But you can choose to allow those struggles to break you down, or you can tough it out, and let them make you stronger. 

Unfortunately sometimes the very people you consider to be your “friends” and “Family” are the very ones who are keeping you down. Sometimes I even envy those who actually have GENUINE supporters in their lives… that’s hard to come by these days.

I used to be terrified of being alone. I was scared of being abandoned, and that inevitably led me to a dark place. I settled for people who didn’t really care for me .. AT ALL. I lowered my standards, I allowed people to mistreat me .. and for a long time, I didn’t feel comfortable in my own skin.

Why would I allow that to happen?

 At the end of the day, I didn’t really love myself… Or even liked myself enough to be alone. I felt like I needed to be around people in order to be “Happy” or feel accepted.

That’s the point I’m trying to make here. Sometimes, when you’re backed into a corner, and you feel like there’s no one available to help you out, you have to learn how to make the best of a bad situation.

It’s important to enjoy your own company! you don’t need to be around people in order to be happy or feel important, and you sure as hell don’t need to put all your trust in people who are only willing to help you out when its convenient for them.  You’ve got to learn to fight your battles on your own every now and then. Don’t ever rely on people. Here are a few of the many reasons why…

-Any kind of relationship that is based off of fear of loneliness is bound to lead to some sort of dysfunction. It will slowly destroy you, and in the end you wont be happy. You’ll wind up being focused on putting all your time and energy into that person {or people} .. you may even change who you are and go against everything you believe in in order to please that person, Because you don’t want them to leave you. It’s not worth it.. trust me…I’ve tried.

– When you learn to enjoy your own company, that feeling of “loneliness” slowly goes away. And that fear you have of abandonment is subdued.

-When you spend time with yourself, you’re able to learn more about who you are as a person… your limitations, your boundaries, etc.. you’ll understand yourself better. And that’s always a good thing. The more you learn the better!

Now i’m not encouraging you to be anti-social. I’m just saying people come and go on a regular basis, and you have to find a balance somewhere between the amount of time and energy you choose to invest in yourself, and the amount you spend on temporary people & your “Social life”.  Every day is a both a blessing and a struggle, and it’s important to grow a backbone and learn to stand on your own without having to rely on someone else to support you. life can destroy you mentally, psychologically, and physically. And there will be times where you’ll have to get through it alone. Developing a love for yourself is the first step towards having a strong mind and spirit, which will ultimately give you a whole new perspective on your life.

At the end of the day,  you have to love and respect yourself in order for others to love and respect you. Stand up for yourself…. There will come a time when It’ll be the only choice you have.

Remember… you are yours before you are anyone else’s. 

enjoy your own company

-Stasiaa

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Here’s some food for thought ….

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In this day and age, thanks to the beloved allure of social media and the general ignorance of people, on some strange level we allow the opinion of others determine how we should feel, act, dress….

Our perception of ourselves is somehow molded based off of comments, likes, the amount of attention one gets.. etc…                                                                                                      

Its disturbing. 

We allow others to determine our mood, affect our self esteem… But NO ONE should ever have any kind of control over the way we view ourselves.. or have the power to validate our own beauty and/or worth. Stop worrying about what everyone else thinks, and focus on how you view yourself!

Now I know that there are strong-minded people out there who claim to be unaffected by other’s opinions. Kudos to you! But I’m sure even the strongest of people have moments where someone’s comment or general attitude towards you has a way of ruining your day… it happens to the best of us. And it’s perfectly normal.

All I’m saying is that, you need to have a strong sense of self and never take anyone’s negative opinion of you to heart if you want to get through this life in one piece.  Be proud of yourself.. take pride in your accomplishments, focus on goals you would like to achieve, and more importantly….don’t ever compare yourself to ANYONE other than the person you used to be.

Everyone has the right to their own opinion.. however you get to choose how you let those words affect you. Because at the end of the day, YOU have to live with yourself……..right?

So don’t you want to feel more at peace with yourself?

I sure as hell do.

-Stasiaa

 

 

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Be aware of who you give your all to. (Applies to both Men & Women)

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Sometimes, we tend to run right back to the very thing that caused us pain… Either out of Habit, or out of fear of being alone. But in the end it will inevitably destroy you. And it would have been all for nothing. Instead of giving everything you have to someone who doesn’t appreciate what you have to offer, learn to direct all that energy towards yourself. 

Respect yourself! Love yourself.. Because NO ONE can love you as much as you love yourself, and THAT’S the point.

In the end, you won’t settle for anything less than what you know you deserve. And eventually, you’ll attract the right kind of people…. people who won’t take you for granted.

-Stasiaa

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Deal with it or run from it?

From my personal experience..

Sometimes I get the impression that the only things that ever stand out in my life are the negative. It’s almost as if my life was rigged to turn out a certain way.. filled with one bad experience after another.

Its easy to get overwhelmed by your everyday struggles, and I’d be lying to you if I said that everything suddenly gets better overnight. But from what I’ve experienced, some scars never fully heal…  and they make us who we are today. For better or worse.

Now I’m not trying to bring you down here ..quite the opposite actually. This blog is meant to uplift you. However I’m not going to lie to you . I still want to be as realistic as possible. And the truth is, there are some things that are extremely difficult to move on from.

But the way I see it, you have 2 choices. Run from it or deal with it. I’ve tried it both ways.. and both of those options are challenging. Running from your problems will inevitably drive you to:

A- Isolate yourself from others

B- Drown yourself in your work

C- Pretending your problems don’t exist

D- Relying on bad habits (Alcohol, etc) 

E- Allowing all the negative things to overpower the positive.

The list literally goes on.

Now If you want to deal with it and face things head-on, here are some things I think you try!

A- Change your perspective (sometimes things aren’t as bad as you think they are). And instead of focusing on all the negative things , think about all the positive aspects of your life.. or even your day (No matter how small they may be). Sometimes that’s all it takes!

B- Push yourself to talk to people (about anything, not necessarily your problems). I like conversing with people who don’t know me personally.. mainly because  they’re less likely to ask me questions about my personal life. Meeting new people is a really good distraction.. you may even forget about what you were upset about in the first place.

C- I know it sounds trivial, but go outside! Get some fresh air. Walk around your neighborhood while drowning yourself in your music. There are days where you aren’t motivated to go outside.. I get that. But Fresh air is always a good thing!

D- Smile! Watch a comedy on Netflix.. Laugh a bit. (I don’t need to elaborate on that, deep down, you know it’s true)

E- Stay away from negative people. There are some “Friends” in your circle who may be deliberately trying to bring you down. They smile in your face while secretly praying for your downfall (I’ve experienced that first-hand, unfortunately). So keep your eyes open!

F- Someone you know may be going through a difficult time as well. Helping someone you care about might motivate you to change your perspective on your own life.

Because It’s always easy to help someone get their sh*t together…. The problem is taking your own advice!

There will always be rough patches in your life… the trick is to be as positive as you can, in spite of them. Always remember.. Things will get better eventually. Just stop thinking about it, and just go with the flow. The better days will come, and you won’t even be aware of it when then do.

-Stasiaa

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Intro…

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been procrastinating on starting this blog. I’ve always loved to write (Mostly fiction), and I’ve always felt the need to do more with my passion. 

The problem is that I have always been a negative individual, and I’ve never been able to believe in myself as much as I needed to pull this off. Especially with the lack of encouragement from others, as well as having limited resources. When you’re raised to have a pessimistic view on life, everything seems impossible and unobtainable.  

But as luck would have it, my life has taken a sudden turn this week.. and not in a good way. And as difficult as it is to get through each day, I decided to take this negative experience of mine as an opportunity to write about everyday issues, my experiences, observations, tips on how to overcome each obstacle and hopefully give you the motivation you need to get up each day with a positive outlook on life, and the inspiration you need to achieve your goals. 

Surprisingly, this also may be a good way for me to distract myself from all my troubles and focus on something positive for once. I would love to get your feedback, and suggestions.

I am going to try my best to be as consistent with this as possible, and I am really looking forward to getting your feedback.

I am very new to this so please bear with me!

Have a great week! 

-Stasiaa

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